With both hands around your hips.

 Sonia Geraldine Micah-Elizabeth Pasupathy,
Is getting very annoyed with everything that is going on. 
I want nothing but to spend the rest of my days hidden away with endless amounts of good coffee. 

 I am sitting here, thinking about life. 
The people in my life. The people that are 'family' and then the people that are really my family. The ones i shout at, sit with, cry to and almost always laugh with. I am more than grateful for every one of them. Thank you. Thank you for putting up with me and my endless amount of crap. Tonight i will sleep hungry simply because i am a stubborn bitch. 
Tonight i will sleep thinking of you simply because i want what i cannot have. 
Tonight i will sleep angry simply because i am one to hold grudges. 

Tonight i will sleep.


Tomorrow i will officially die from the work overload.

 

 

 

 Fucking hate this fucking family. 
 

 

Venti Hot Caramel Machiatto 
Starbucks, probably the only place i feel remotely at home in. 
Where it doesn't smell different from the outlets in Singapore. 
This family will drive me mad. 
Except for maybe my cousins. 




Oh, did I mention when I see you it stings like hell?
To the fact that we could have something that'll never happen

 

 

The clock is ticking and apparently we are hours away from entering a new decade. And despite the fact that im not one to sit and write about how everything and everyone is changing and how the new year is such a big deal. I think this time it really deserves something. Where in hells name did ten years go? I still remember new years 1999, i was wearing some pink frock of a dress and i was on a hill clutching a basket full of chocolates, i was in malaysia. I looked up to the sky and felt a wet tear trail its way down my cheek cause somewhere in my 8 year old head i was convinced the world was coming to an end. And well obviously, it did not. Seeing as how im sitting her typing this ten years later, ten years older. Ten years worth of experiences and changes. 

I've changed so much as a person both good and bad. My life has changed so much. Never in my wildest dreams could i have seen this coming. Would i have been prepared for what i have gone through in the last two years alone. The people who have come in and out of my life. The one's who've stayed, the ones who've left, the ones i need so badly but i must leave. 

Yesterday was well strange to say the least. I am the last person on the planet to do something like that willingly. Blame it on the alcohol? Maybe just a little bit. Ha. I guess it was an experience. Doubt im everrrr gonna pull something like that again. I can only be thankful that i can still sit here and say; it could have been a wholeee lot worse. 

So here's to everyone who knows exactly what i mean. Here's to me. And how i am about to go out there and brave the new year. 
Hello 2010.

I have this horrible feeling youre mad at me.

I am so fucking pissed right now.
I'm pretty sure some of you'll know why.

 

_!_
Up yours motherfucker.

 

I conclude that God wants me to be a nun. 
I dont know how to react to this. 
Hurr hurr. 

Hello my lj lovers. 
Yes it's true i have abandoned you for tumblr. 
Sorrow. 

Life still is a mother fucking mystery to me and i doubt i'm gonna figure it out anytime soon.
I must say though, i'm quite alright with that. 
:)

Thinking more than you know. 
 

Meet my new best friend,
My daiso teacup
Which i havent stopped drinking honey water from since yesterday. 
I kinda want to stay home all day just so i can read and drink tea from this cup. 
I am well aware of how crazy i am sounding
But really, 
How can you not love it? 
Hee. 
 

Goodbye wonderful internet and any other form of communication to the outside world. 
I am off to hide in malaysia for the next three days,
And make some relatives happy. 
Hopefully my head will make sense when i get back.
And i'll be ready for the torture that is school.

Last year this turned out to be quite the disaster. 
So i'm pretty much stuck in a rut,
As to whether to keep my hopes high for the opposite. 
Or not to hope at all. 

Chin up. 

 

 

Someone once told me that you can pick your moods in almost the same way you pick your clothes. So if today i told myself i'm going to pull on a Happy and slip into a pair of Patients i very well could. And should something go wrong somewhere along the way all i would have to do is tell myself 'Now, now, i'm wearing my Patients' and believe it or not i'd find the day going a whole lot better.

Of course, me being me, i never believed this theory. Finding the idea of wearing my moods absolutely impossible. Skeptical as i was i decided to try it out yesterday after realizing i was going nowhere with my anger and frustration. Guess what? It worked. Every time i felt myself lose my cool i'd tell myself 'Hey wait, you've got a nice pair of Patients on'. And the very idea would make me chuckle and i'd end up forgetting whatever the hell it was that annoyed me in the first place. And i can proudly say that yesterday went pretty damn alright. 


I will continue to think. 
And hope to God it this doesn't kill me.

 

Best sentona day ever. 
Spontaneous as it was for me and despite the foreboding rain clouds,
It all turned out pretty well. 
With sushi replacing subway (just this once), the usual chips and juice, a couple of cameras, a good book and my sketchbook i think it was really what the three of us needed. 
I declare that we should do it again within the next month? 
To ensure that school doesn't officially suck our souls. 


Lately i've been thinking.

 

We're getting higher everytime that we love.
A little closer to the things we fall back on
If you come over together willing,
We'll take over the world.
 

Tiny voices make it harder
Everybody will be let down.
 

 

Not worth it.

Finally a really good night. 
Woke up to the rain. 
Spent half an hour in bed taking pictures of the skyline. 
Had pumpkin for lunch. 
Am now sitting in the dark room with my music. 
Contemplating going out for coffee and a book. 
 

When you know exactly what is bothering you.
But you're just too fucking scared to come out and say it
Cause you know you're gonna end up looking like a wuss. 
Where do you find someone, something, anything that is gonna make you feel right
And for more than just a second. 


I wanna feel weightless, and that should be enough.